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by peggys



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dad Steve Rogers, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peggys/pseuds/peggys
Summary: Steve came out of hiding two years after the accords and the birth of your first daughter together, missing the birth itself and the most difficult part of raising her. Now he’s back for good, no more Avengers for a while, and no more bullshit, but you’ve both got a few things to work on.





	1. Chapter 1

You closed the door to your little girl’s bedroom after finally calming her down enough to sleep after her nightmare. You exhaled deeply, leaning your back against the door and letting your chin hit your chest as you pinched the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes.

It was 10:00 pm. You were finally almost asleep after a long day at work before Sarah padded into your bedroom, shaking your shoulder lightly to get you to sit up and crying into your shirt for a little while, telling you all about her bad dream. You’d rocked her gently in your arms, her much smaller ones wrapped around your neck as her forehead rested on your shoulder, her little tiny body shaking with each cry while she forced her (very limited amount of) words out to explain everything that had happened.

Soon, you stood up straight, turning off the light in the hallway as you made your way through the darkness and back into your own bedroom, slipping underneath the covers and squeezing your eyes shut for the second time that night. You pulled the warm fabric up to your chin, curling up into a small ball of warmth, despite the fact that you’d had the bed all to yourself for two years now, and you should’ve been used to all the space you were able to take up because of that.

You loved Steve. You missed him every day that you didn’t wake up next to him, and every night when you didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in his strong arms. You’d been together for three years before Sarah, and while you were still pretty young to have a two year old, and you got dirty looks from old ladies when you went out with her, you could’ve been the perfect little family if Steve had never left you to raise her by yourself.

You were pretty confident that that’s not what he meant to do, and that he didn’t want to do it, but he had no choice after what happened with Tony and the Accords. He had to leave, for your safety, and for Sarah’s, but you were sure that two years without a single phone call, text message, or even letter was unnecessary and definitely crossed the line.

And, as if the universe somehow knew that you were so tired and frustrated that you wanted to scream and cry and break everything in your house, you heard three slow knocks on your apartment door. You pulled your heavy blankets of of your cold, bare legs one more time to walk out to the living room, dragging your feet as you did so. You peeked through the peephole, finding yourself gazing upon the very last person you would’ve expected at your doorstep at 10:15 on a Wednesday night. Or really ever. You carefully pulled the door open, eliminating the barrier between yourself and the six foot, blonde, bearded supersoldier, clad in an all black suit and covered in dirt and dried blood.

“Steve?” You asked softly.

“(Y/N)...” He sounded sad. Really, really sad. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Baby...Why are you here? Where did you go? Why didn’t you call me?” You felt tears sting at your eyes, and you clenched your fists, your fingernails digging into your palms.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” He let his own tears fall down his face, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold them back for long anyway. “Could I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course you can come in.” You stepped out of his way, letting him into the living room. “Actually -- c’mere, we’re gonna get you cleaned up, and we can talk about this while I’m doing that, okay?”

“Okay.” He tried to smile, but ended up letting out another sob, not sure if he was happy to be here with you again, or upset that he missed out on so much.

He followed you to the bathroom as you gripped his calloused hand, ordering him to take off his dirty, stained suit while you momentarily stepped out to get him clean pajamas. He did as he was told, washing his face with soap and cold water while you were fishing in his drawers for sweatpants, a t-shirt, and clean underwear, because quite honestly, you didn’t want to know how often he’d been showering.

“Here you go.” You handed them to him as you entered the bathroom again, feeling sick to your stomach when you saw all of the wounds on his bare torso. “You wanna shower before you put on clean clothes?”

“I thought you wanted to talk about things..?” He took the clothes from you, putting them on the counter next to the sink as he turned to face you.

“I just think it’s best if I think about what exactly I need to say to you for a little bit. Plus, it looks like you’re banged up pretty bad, so we’ll have plenty of time to talk while I’m patching you up.” You explained, taking a deep breath as another wave of emotions came over you, and your eyes filled with the evidence of it.

“Hey, don’t do that, baby.” He tried comforting you, seeing that he was failing. “Is it..Is it okay if I hug you?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around him as he did the same, rubbing his large hands up and down your back, kissing the top of your head as you cried into his chest, just as your daughter had done to you not even twenty minutes ago. He held you until you could gain control of yourself again, doing everything he knew to do to help you calm down.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower. I’ll be out in fifteen-ish minutes and we can have a talk then, okay? You gonna go to work tomorrow?”

“No. But I still have to get up early to drop Sarah at her daycare.” He inhaled sharply when he heard the name, realizing that he was a father now, and he hadn’t been there for the first two years of his own daughter’s life.

“How is she? She pretty like you?” He asked quietly.

“Yep. She’s absolutely beautiful. And she’s smart like you. Stubborn too.” You answered.

“But you really ended up naming her Sarah? After my mom?” He questioned, his voice gentle and deep as you nodded against him another time. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You whispered, feeling like you and him were the only two people in the entire world right at that moment. “But I’m still mad at you.”

“I know you are, so you’re gonna go come up with a list of things you’re mad at me for, and you’re gonna let it all out to me when I’m all washed up, and we’re gonna work as best as we can to fix everything, got it?” He pushed your chin up with his finger, looking into your eyes, and you forgot how easy it was for you to get lost in those seemingly bottomless baby blues.

“Got it.” You kissed his cheek, walking out of the bathroom as you heard the shower turn on, the water hitting against the tile walls before the door closed behind you and you went to go make that list Steve had told you to write out. 

This was gonna be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

After Steve had finished up in the shower and threw on the clothes that you’d gotten for him, you’d urged him to eat something and he was sat on top of the toilet seat again. By then, it was almost 11:00, and you couldn’t have cared less about sleeping. You had an abundant collection of medical supplies spread out on the counter that you never thought you’d need to use again, and as you carefully dabbed his wounds to disinfect them, you began to talk to him.

He winced at the stinging of it, his eyes squeezing shut tightly. “You okay?” You pulled your hand away immediately when you saw him react as he did.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m okay. Keep going.” He told you before you hesitantly continued. 

“So,  um...I assume you left because of the Accords, right?” He nodded. “So why didn’t you call or visit?” You asked, your voice cracking a little bit.

“It was too dangerous. I had people on my ass the entire time I was away, I didn’t want people to track me and find you. I wouldn’t care so much if they’d gotten ahold of me, but I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you.” He explained.

“I just...I had to give birth without you. I had to do all the 5:00 am feedings, and diaper changes, and I was  _ so  _ mad at you, Steve. And I--”

“I know, babe. I know it was really hard for you, and I could never imagine how difficult it was for you to raise a baby for two years by yourself, but I’m here now. And I’m so, so sorry that I wasn’t before, because that’s  _ our _ daughter in there, and I should’ve been here to do the whole parenting thing with you forever ago, but what’s important is that I’m here now, and I’m not going to be leaving you or Sarah for a long time.” He held your free hand in both of his, kissing the back of it gently.

“You promise?” You asked, tearing up for what felt like the thousandth time that night.

“I promise.” He smiled up at you, pulling you onto his lap. “We almost done?”

“Mmm-hmm, but you need a few stitches right here,” You pointed just above his left eyebrow, “But it won’t hurt.”

“You never make it hurt.” He remembered, lightly trailing his fingers down your back. 

You tried getting through it as quickly as you could, thanking the medics at the tower for teaching you how to patch Steve up once you moved out together. He clenched his teeth, using everything he had in him to not move his face, which would’ve made it hurt like hell. 

Eventually, after a _ lot _ more talking, you’d cut the thread and tied it, cleaned it up with hydrogen peroxide again to make sure all the dried blood was completely off of his face, and sweetly pressed your lips to his forehead, just to make everything a little better. His face was scruffy, and his beard was coming in nicely, and you smiled to yourself, recalling how you’d begged him to grow a beard for such a long time before he’d left. You slowly slid your arms around his neck, leaning into his chest so that both of your chins were on each others’ shoulders.

“Hey, it’s just about 11:30, you wanna head to bed?” He asked you quietly, carefully rubbing up and down your back.

“No, I really don’t. Do you?” 

“Not even a little bit...I missed you so much. It was so hard for me to leave you, I really need you to know that. I thought about you every single day, and I wanted to come home so bad, I really did.”

“I’m so glad you’re back. I’m so happy that I have you again.” You admitted, squeezing him tighter and readjusting yourself. “And -- last question, I promise -- you didn’t, um...I mean, you didn’t...get with anyone else...right?” 

“Wha-- oh, no! Of course not, I’d never do that to you.” He said, cradling the back of your neck. “You didn’t, did you?”

“No. Even if I’d wanted to, which I never did, I wouldn’t have even had the time.” You both chuckled at that, knowing it was true, and glad you could finally laugh at something after the emotional evening you were having. “Do you want to move into the living room so we can watch something and hang out?”

“Yeah, c’mon.” He stood up, taking you with him as you stayed in place, your arms still wrapped around him, clasped behind his neck, your head rested on his shoulder. “What do you wanna watch?” You felt him sit back on the couch and reach for the remote, turning on the TV and making sure the volume was low so he didn’t wake the sleeping two year old only a few rooms over.

“I don’t care, but something we’ve seen before.” You requested, pressing gentle kisses up his throat as you felt his fingers creep under the hem of your t-shirt. 

“Friends?” He asked, pushing his hand further up your shirt as he grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV. You nodded and he opened Netflix, the all too familiar sound of the theme song soon filling your ears as you continued to kiss and bite at your boyfriend’s neck. 

After only a few episodes, you’d fallen asleep, still in Steve’s lap, and his eyelids were feeling heavier and heavier by the second. “Okay,” he grunted as he shifted and carefully woke you up, “Go get in bed, (Y/N).”

“You comin’ with me?” You asked tiredly.

“You don’t want me to sleep on the couch..?”

“No, absolutely not. I want to sleep next to you.” You said, holding his scruffy face in your hands and looking into his eyes. He smiled at you, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed with you on top of him. You rolled onto your bed beside him.

“It’s so nice to be in a bed. Like, a real bed.” He mumbled as he wrapped his arms around you.

“It’s so nice to be in bed with you, babe. I really thought you were never coming back.” You hid your face in his neck and he kissed the top of your head. 

“Get some sleep, you need it. I love you.” He whispered into your hair.

“Love you more.” You said -- almost instinctively -- before finally passing out.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up next to Steve for the first time in two years was surreal. Your eyes fluttered open when your alarm went off, and as you woke up, you remembered the events that took place the night before. 

His arms were still firmly wrapped around you, as were yours around him, and a smile pulled at your lips as you examined the shadow that his long lashes cast upon his chiseled cheekbones. With each gentle rise and fall of his chest he seemed to look more peaceful, his breath hitting against your collarbone and his face nestled carefully under your chin. 

You smiled softly to yourself at his vulnerable state, tilting your head down to kiss his forehead, causing him to stir. His brows furrowed before he struggled to pull his eyes open. He smiled and looked up at you as he felt your gaze lingering on his previously sleeping form.

“Mornin’.” He greeted, his eyes still half closed as he battled with his eyelids to stay open, still trying to get used to the sudden and drastic shift in brightness. 

“Good morning, Steve. You sleep okay?” He held you in his arms, scooting up the bed so that your faces were just across from each other.

“Better than ever.” He pressed his lips against yours, kissing you lazily but lovingly. 

“I gotta get up; get Sarah dressed and to daycare and stuff so we can have the day to ourselves.”

A nervous expression etched itself into his features as he tried (and failed) to hide his anxiety about finally meeting his daughter. “Alright, I’ll make some breakfast then?”

“That’d be really helpful. Thank you. Sarah doesn’t like bacon, but she likes eggs, and there’s some strawberry yogurt in the fridge. Oh, and make sure that you cut the eggs up real small so she doesn’t choke.” You kissed his cheek and pulled the blankets off of your legs, dropping your feet off the side of your bed to the floor. You stood up, the hardwood floor freezing cold against your feet, the result of a nasty New York winter. You probed through Steve’s hoodie drawer and took one out -- a black pullover with a faded cap shield centered on the back, as well as one in the left corner of the chest on the front. You pulled it over your head, knowing that Steve was most likely smiling so much that his cheeks hurt at the sight of you so casually putting on his clothes.

You yawned and pulled your bedroom door open, crossing your arms to try to keep your warmth. You gently pushed on Sarah’s door, and when it opened, you saw that she was was stretching out in her crib, already awake.

“Good morning, honey!” You said, smiling when she did the second she saw you. You picked her up, resting her on your hip. “I’ve got a surprise for you, but we gotta get you changed first, okay?” She giggled and clapped, her limited vocabulary preventing her from expressing exactly how she felt. You hoisted her up onto the changing table, quickly changing her diaper -- you decided you’d start potty training soon -- and heading to the bathroom to wash your hands before making your way out into the kitchen.

“Steve, I’d like you to meet Sarah. Sweetheart, this is Steve. This is your daddy. He’s gonna be around a whole lot more.” You explained to her. “Can you say ‘daddy’?”

“Daddy!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms up. You smiled brightly and turned to Steve, who really looked like he was about to cry. He turned down the stove and walked over to you.

“Hey baby!” He said, not being able to wipe the smile off of his face as he held his arms out and you handed her to him. He turned to you, flashing his pearly whites. “(Y/N), she’s so pretty. We did a  _ great _ job.” He chuckled a little, shifting so that he was firmly holding her with just one arm, the other reached out to hug you. He pulled you against his chest, kissing the top of your head. “I love you both so much.”

“We love you too, babe.” You wrapped your arms around his torso, smiling once again against his chest. “Go finish up breakfast, I’ll get her dressed and we’ll be out in a few. You gonna be done by then?”

“Yep, I’ll have the table set and everything.”

“Awesome.” You kissed his cheek and hurried to Sarah’s room to dress her in the clothes you’d laid out on the rocking chair the night before. After you’d fit her into the onesie and pants and slipped her little socks on, you stepped out of her room, carrying her back to the kitchen, where Steve was laying silverware out next to three plates.

You put Sarah down into her booster seat on the chair that was in front of the smaller plate with less food and buckled the straps together. You pushed in the chair and gave her her plastic baby fork before pouring two glasses of orange juice and a sippy cup full of water — Sarah didn’t like orange juice; it was too sweet for her. You set one of the glasses in front of your plate and the other in front of Steve’s. He stepped up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, pushing your hair away from the base of your neck and pressing soft kisses up your spine until he reached the edge of your hairline on the back of your head.

“I love you.” He said softly, pulling you so that your back was pressed against his chest. “So much.”

You smiled, feeling a blush creep over your cheeks. “I love you too.”

“Alright. Let’s eat.” He pulled out your chair for you and you sat down, pushing it back in as he took his own seat.

Breakfast went by quickly. Steve listened to Sarah’s babbling, nodding and occasionally agreeing the incomprehensible sentences as if he could understand them. You were positively elated to see him so happy. You never thought he’d be the type to want a big family with lots of kids, but the moment you told him a little over three years ago that you were pregnant, he was nothing but the gentleman he always has been; always making sure you didn’t need anything or that you weren’t uncomfortable. Steve had told you that he eventually wanted more kids, but you were only twenty-three when you got pregnant with Sarah, and Steve hadn't wanted to make you feel like you needed a family right then, when you were so young. 

You thought about how badly Steve had wanted to come home to see his girls over the last two years and for just a moment, you pitied him. For the first time in years, you felt really bad for Steve. You’d never considered how he probably missed you more than anything, and how much he most likely wanted to be there when his daughter was born, and when she took her first steps, and when she said her first words. He’s missed all the big milestones, and for so long you just felt angry at him for leaving you alone with his baby. The deal was that you were going to be Sarah’s parents together, and he left before you got to do that.

You dropped off Sarah at her daycare just down the street, Steve sitting in the passenger’s seat as you drove and following you inside when you carried her the to the appropriate room. He introduced himself to the the two women that took care of her everyday, and one of them gave you a thumbs up while he was conversing with the other.

Soon, you were back home again. You hadn’t bothered to change out of your pajamas — which was just sweatpants and a t-shirt, now with Steve’s hoodie pulled over it — to leave the house, and neither had Steve, so you were both still sufficiently comfortable and cuddly. You’d called in sick to work in the car, so you were all set until 5:00, when Sarah needed to be picked up again. It was almost 8:30, so you had plenty of time.

“What would you like to do today?” You asked Steve as he pulled you to the couch.

“Just hang out, watch a few movies, maybe take a nap if all of that’s okay with you.” He answered, gesturing for you to lay down. You did as he instructed and he nudged your knees apart, laying on his stomach with his waist between your legs and wrapping his arms around your middle. You slid yours around him as well, your hands falling just below where in between his shoulder blades would be as his face pressed into your neck.

You nodded. “That sounds great.” He grabbed the blanket hanging off of the back of the couch and draped it over the two of you. Your face was pressed into his chest, his soft hands moving over your skin, longing to feel every inch of you again; to re-memorize all of your bumps, curves, and scars. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He commented, and you smiled against him.

“You think so?” You replied, all of a sudden very aware of his hands being sure that not to miss a single spot on your entire body.

“Yup.” He said, and you could still hear the fatigue in his voice as his hands, of course, stopped moving once they made it to the curve of your ass.

“Okay, let’s put on a movie.” You leaned up from him, reaching over to the coffee table to grab the remote, pushing the power button and switching over to Netflix once the screen lit up.


End file.
